Artist Copy Self Portrait

For this project, which we actually worked on at home, the goal was to create a self portrait which had an interesting composition, represented ourselves well, and most importantly, used the "artist mark" from the previous project. I worked on project only a few days before it was due, so I felt a little rushed. Initially, another empty shoe was supposed to be placed behind me, on the left side of the drawing in order to fill the empty space. However, since I was low on time I ended up cutting the other shoe out completely, and the composition suffered because of it. There is a lot of empty space in this drawing, which I'm not very happy with. Next time, I will focus my reference picture around composition and pace myself properly when drawing to have a better result. For this drawing I used conte crayons, pictured below:

This material is about the size of a pinky finger, and it comes in all different shades of brick red. It performs similarly to chalk pastels, but controlling the amount of color when using one stick is very difficult since the pigmentation does not come off as easily. In the artist mark assignment, the artist I chose used conte, which I am very happy for. I don't think I would've used conte otherwise. I want to use conte in future projects. Even though I have a love-hate relationship with it, the material has a lovely end result of vibrant warm color.

I had a lot of trouble trying to draw the face. I initially used too dark of a tone, and started to panic. After finishing it, I don't think it's too dark, but I'm not very happy with how the face turned out. Instead of looking despondent or sad, I kind of look like I'm disgusted with the shoe, which is not what I wanted. However, I am glad that I was able to have self-restraint and move on to the other parts of the drawing, instead of hyperfocusing on that one detail. Other than being a drawing of me, the portrait is relatable in another way. I recently have been feeling a lot of struggles with my age and how I am supposed to behave according to it. Being 16, there is a lot of pressure to mature, but also enjoy the rest of your teenage years before adulthood takes it away. When thinking about this, the phrase "if the shoe fits" came to mind. While this phrase tends to have a different connotation, I applied it in my drawing to refer to two things. Firstly, trying on shoes. When you want to buy a pair of shoes, the norm is to go to the store, find some you like, and try them on. I feel as though that's what I've been doing in my life lately; I've been trying on different personalities, different versions of myself to see which one fits. I feel as though I don't have a set personality, and I tend to be rather fluid in how I present myself to different people. Secondly, I wanted trying on the shoe to be demonstrative of a child trying on their parents' shoes. However, in this case, the shoe finally fits, meaning that I am supposed to be an adult and mature, but I am seen tying the laces on the shoe very tightly, which I wanted to demonstrate how I feel that I am embracing the expectation of maturity to an extreme, at least internally. Moving away from the shoes, I am shown wearing my father's jacket, which is still too big for me, but in the drawing I can't see the coat because it is behind me. I wanted this to mean that I am embracing one side of adulthood entirely, even though I am still not fully an adult. I am not sure if that makes a lot of sense, but it's difficult to explain something so personal to me. Overall, I am content with how this project turned out, and it was definitely a learning experience. I think that I need more practice in timing myself, especially since I'm not used to doing long projects without complete supervision. I'll see how the next project goes.